I finally finished Anna Karenina tonight. It lost me there in the middle, but came around in the end--mostly.
"He only knew and felt that what was happening was similar to what had happened the year before…on the deathbed of his brother….Only that was sorrow and this [birth] was joy. But that sorrow and this joy were equally beyond the usual conditions of life: they were like openings in that usual life through which something higher became visible. And as in that case, what was now being accomplished came harshly, painfully, incomprehensibly, and while watching it the soul soared, as then, to heights it had never known before, at which reason could not keep up with it." (p. 640-641)
"If goodness has a cause, it is no longer goodness, if it has a consequence--a reward, it is also not goodness. Therefore, goodness is beyond the chain of cause and effect." (p. 715)
Someday I'd like to know a language well enough to read the original work and the translation to compare the beauty and nuances of the word choice. Russian is definitely not going to be that language.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
I Know
I've written this for 3 people specifically in mind. I'm sure one of them will never see these words, but I pray he finds them through someone else. For one I hope to say these words through my daily actions. And I hope one I have in mind actually reads this. I care about you all in very different ways. You're all such great people and it makes me sad that you don't know or understand what I do. I'd like you to know what makes my life feel complete. You're all just so friendly and caring; you're so close to living the gospel and you don't even know it. I've tried really hard to cut out as many "Mormonisms" from this as possible in the hopes that you'll better feel what I feel.
I know that I am a literal daughter of God. I know that I lived with Him before I came to this earth. I know that our Heavenly Father has a grand plan for each of us. That's why He created this earth. We came here to experience mortality and gain a body. Our bodies are beautiful and allow us to experience this world and love in ways we couldn't have otherwise. It's another step in our eternal progression. I know that God's great work is to give us the gift of eternal life. This means we will advance beyond our current state and eventually become like God. It is through His son, Jesus Christ, that it is possible for us to continue progressing beyond this earth life. Do you sometimes feel there are things you once knew and that there are things you will see when your spirit departs from your body? I do. This deja vu shows me my true, eternal nature. The idea that people just dissipate into nothing when they die is unfathomable to me. I know that the people we become and the things we learn will carry on with us beyond death. I know that Jesus Christ came to earth to save us. I know that He walked among men and taught us how to live a perfect, joyful life amidst the heartache that inevitably comes from the nature of this life. I know that He healed people's physical afflictions and their emotional pain. I know He can do this now for me and you. I don't understand all the technicalities of the gospel or the nature of God and Jesus Christ, but I know that one day I will. In the meantime, the gospel actually fills in all the gaps in my life. It answers all of my questions, granted not always in the way I want, but where would be the fun in that? My understanding of science is so much clearer with the perspective of the gospel. I also know myself better, and I know I am more successful because I am a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that we can have a real relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They understand us and love us unconditionally. I know God is just and merciful. I know that He has restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth through Joseph Smith and that the progress still continues today through a prophet. By the power of God, known as the Priesthood, President Thomas S. Monson tells us what we need to do in the here and now to live a more fulfilling life and to return to our Father. I know that families are essential to God's plan and His nature. I know that we can remain with our families beyond death and that we will see each other again. I know that taken down to the simplest level, everything is about love. A love so deep and so perfect and so complete that I can barely grasp the power of it. I know that's the love that has saved us all from ourselves and our own imperfections. I know that we can have this love for each another. I know I often catch a glimpse of it. Sometimes I have an overwhelming amount of love for people I don't actually know. I know that's a part of being a daughter of God. I know that I have truth in my life because I know God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't know how to tell you how I know. I just do. It's one of those things that I can't deny. I just feel it to the depths of me. I know that God has given us the agency to choose for ourselves. We are in control of ourselves as long as we do not give up this power to choose to other influences and addictions. That's why I don't do a lot of things that are considered normal for people my age. It's keeping me freer and allowing me to be who I want to be. As an American, I have the opportunity to believe what I want to believe freely. I get to use my agency to practice my religion. I choose to be a member of The Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter-day Saints because I know it's true. It's not a philosophy or lifestyle--it's reality. It's not a cultural thing or something I inherited from my upbringing. It's something I gained for myself. I wouldn't live something that I don't understand or gain happiness from. I live it out of love.
For more information on what I believe look here: mormon.org or just talk to me because this is just barely skimming the surface of what I know.
I know that I am a literal daughter of God. I know that I lived with Him before I came to this earth. I know that our Heavenly Father has a grand plan for each of us. That's why He created this earth. We came here to experience mortality and gain a body. Our bodies are beautiful and allow us to experience this world and love in ways we couldn't have otherwise. It's another step in our eternal progression. I know that God's great work is to give us the gift of eternal life. This means we will advance beyond our current state and eventually become like God. It is through His son, Jesus Christ, that it is possible for us to continue progressing beyond this earth life. Do you sometimes feel there are things you once knew and that there are things you will see when your spirit departs from your body? I do. This deja vu shows me my true, eternal nature. The idea that people just dissipate into nothing when they die is unfathomable to me. I know that the people we become and the things we learn will carry on with us beyond death. I know that Jesus Christ came to earth to save us. I know that He walked among men and taught us how to live a perfect, joyful life amidst the heartache that inevitably comes from the nature of this life. I know that He healed people's physical afflictions and their emotional pain. I know He can do this now for me and you. I don't understand all the technicalities of the gospel or the nature of God and Jesus Christ, but I know that one day I will. In the meantime, the gospel actually fills in all the gaps in my life. It answers all of my questions, granted not always in the way I want, but where would be the fun in that? My understanding of science is so much clearer with the perspective of the gospel. I also know myself better, and I know I am more successful because I am a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that we can have a real relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They understand us and love us unconditionally. I know God is just and merciful. I know that He has restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth through Joseph Smith and that the progress still continues today through a prophet. By the power of God, known as the Priesthood, President Thomas S. Monson tells us what we need to do in the here and now to live a more fulfilling life and to return to our Father. I know that families are essential to God's plan and His nature. I know that we can remain with our families beyond death and that we will see each other again. I know that taken down to the simplest level, everything is about love. A love so deep and so perfect and so complete that I can barely grasp the power of it. I know that's the love that has saved us all from ourselves and our own imperfections. I know that we can have this love for each another. I know I often catch a glimpse of it. Sometimes I have an overwhelming amount of love for people I don't actually know. I know that's a part of being a daughter of God. I know that I have truth in my life because I know God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't know how to tell you how I know. I just do. It's one of those things that I can't deny. I just feel it to the depths of me. I know that God has given us the agency to choose for ourselves. We are in control of ourselves as long as we do not give up this power to choose to other influences and addictions. That's why I don't do a lot of things that are considered normal for people my age. It's keeping me freer and allowing me to be who I want to be. As an American, I have the opportunity to believe what I want to believe freely. I get to use my agency to practice my religion. I choose to be a member of The Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter-day Saints because I know it's true. It's not a philosophy or lifestyle--it's reality. It's not a cultural thing or something I inherited from my upbringing. It's something I gained for myself. I wouldn't live something that I don't understand or gain happiness from. I live it out of love.
For more information on what I believe look here: mormon.org or just talk to me because this is just barely skimming the surface of what I know.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
If I had a checklist
I always thought you'd like fish. It either means you'll enjoy taking our children camping or you'll have cosmopolitan taste in restaurants.
And I've given up the six pack abs clause, but I'm expecting to practice the dirty dancing lift every time we go swimming.
We'll argue about global warming and couples Halloween costumes and our children's names.
The thought of taking engagement pictures and then sending said pictures to people we barely know won't make me cringe.
It'd also be great if you're left-handed.
I want a similar agreement to the one they made in From the Hip--I want you to wake me up, but you can't be an overly chipper morning person.
And I've given up the six pack abs clause, but I'm expecting to practice the dirty dancing lift every time we go swimming.
We'll argue about global warming and couples Halloween costumes and our children's names.
The thought of taking engagement pictures and then sending said pictures to people we barely know won't make me cringe.
It'd also be great if you're left-handed.
I want a similar agreement to the one they made in From the Hip--I want you to wake me up, but you can't be an overly chipper morning person.
But I think I'll know you're the one when you agree to spend an entire vacation at The Grand Canyon pretending we've time traveled from the 1970s. This is a very extensive dream: we will thrift all of our clothing, refrain from modern slang, and only listen to music that predates the Walkman (preferably on cassette tapes). All the while pretending to be flabbergasted by everyone's gadgets.
These pictures are from my grandparent's honeymoon at The Grand Canyon in the 1950s, but I think they serve as perfect inspiration for this future trip. And I just love how glamorous my grandma is in these shots.
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