A message That I'm Sending Out Like A Telegraph

Sometimes life seems rather fickle. Or maybe it's just me. I'm probably the one fluctuating. Today I've just been thinking about how strange it is that I live in a house that I haven't seen all of. Apparently there is a sun porch in back? I've lived here a month, and I've only been in the backyard once, for about five seconds. I also think it's bizarre that I think about people who were the most important people in my life at least once a day, but I hardly ever talk to them. I lived with people for more than a year, and I only know the basics of their lives. It's weird that sometimes I have a hard time remembering some of my roommates' names. I saw them nearly every day for crying out loud! I hate that I don't know what my friends' houses look like or if it feels like home. I don't know their day to day schedules or how they feel about things. I guess I just wanted you all to know that I love you. And you probably don't know [wish I was better at that]. But I do. I really do.

The Jess Steele Phenomenon

I've been waiting for something for a long while now. I call it "The Jess Steele Phenomenon."

A while back, my cousin and I were looking through my dad's old yearbook and were instantly taken by Jess Steele.

He was alarmingly intriguing. We needed to know everything about him. He wasn't on any teams or a member of any clubs. We speculated that he was probably too cool for high school and was in some college rock band. I mean look at that hair. My dad and her mom went to school with him, but neither of them really knew him. My dad thinks he may have been the older brother of a special needs guy in his grade. This adds immensely to his charm. All it took was this one yearbook photo to convince us we appreciated everything about the real Jess Steele. It was a shame we were a generation late.

I actually had this picture as my phone background for a few years. Creepy? Very. But it reminded me not to settle for anything. I would find my own Jess Steele. 

As much as I'd like it to be a man, my next Jess Steele could be a new passion or book. Last Christmas, it was this box.

My mom got me a necklace I'd liked from a Christmas ad, and it'd come in this most perfect box ever. The color is a little distorted in these pictures, but seriously everything about it is immaculate. I couldn't stop talking about it or let it go. A tiny, sparkly box made my Christmas morning. Side Note: I'm going to remember this anecdote next time I need to produce some evidence to prove my standards and expectations aren't too high.

I'm looking for a little magic. Something that makes me want to scream and jump up and down. I'm hoping for the real deal. The Jess Steele Phenomenon.

On the Threshold

I moved to Salt Lake City! It was time to move on and out of my parent's house, but it's making me really, very sad. It's proving harder to grow up than I expected. But I'm very calm about the whole thing. Which I am very grateful for.

And I have to say, I am pretty excited about this cute house I moved into. It has the essence of Dawson's Creek in it. I'm going to sit on the porch and ponder the idosyncracies of my young adult life and lament that my soulmate isn't around to save me. I'll probably cry some too. My landlord lives right down the street, and she seems to take care of the house and everyone in it. She will be the Grams to my Jennifer. And it's like Pacey to move forward alone, to take a stab at life without the support of people you've loved and known your whole life. (I just wish I had a Joey and Dawson to always go back to.) The wood doors remind me of Joey's dorm room and my bed reminds me of Potter's B&B, so maybe some of her will rub off on me, and I will run into my Eddie or Pacey. I don't want to wait for my life to be over.