Gifts from my Dad

My dad often tells me that I am well on my way to becoming a late-bloomer. It's something that seems to run in the family [all of his siblings were 25 or older when they got married and many lived at home for quite some time], so he probably shouldn't expect otherwise. It's almost a family tradition. But I am not sure it's a label I want to combine with my tendency to be a wallflower. But the other night my dad spent half an hour showing me some of his favorite songs from the '60s, and if being a late-bloomer and still living at home means I get introduced to stuff like this, I can live with it.

Today's Obsession: Teen Mom

Teen Mom

While this may seem like a far cry from Les Miserables, I can honestly say that both stories have changed my life; this is rare for me--it takes a lot for something to change my mind and actions. So indulge me in my love for Teen Mom because I will miss it terribly. (The last season of the original series ended this month).

My fan status shouldn't really come as a surprise. They graduated from high school around the same time as me. The drama completely sucks you in. And amidst all the craziness are adorable babies.

Leah, Amber, Sophia, Farrah, Caitlyn, Bentley, & Maci

  You're probably still wondering why I loved the show so much because it's basically the same formula as every other reality [or as I like to say, documentary] show.

Part of it is because of the connections I made while watching the show. My brother, sister, and I would always watch it together. We would burst out laughing at the stupidity or hilarious moments. I still find it so funny that Amber's boyfriend Gary wanted to have a romantic dinner with her, so he picked up meat loaf from The Cracker Barrel. There is no question that I am closer to my siblings because of this show--especially because not very many people watched it, so they were really the only ones who shared this obsession.

But it's more than that. I think it's the honesty. I cried almost every episode. That was the power of the storytelling and their openness. I am still amazed that they were willing to let people they didn't even know into their lives like that. I am barely even honest with myself.

Tyler, who is one of the most incredible men I have ever seen--he and his fiancee, Caitlyn, chose adoption for their daughter and have remained together in a healthy, loving relationship--shared something that was unimaginable. His dad, who has been in and out of prison for 20 years, texted him once and said something to the effect of "I care about because you are my son, and that's instinct, but I love coke more than anything or anyone." This was an unreal thing for me to hear. But Tyler knew it was the truth, and he is dealing with that and living his life and making sure he isn't his father. If I choose to go into counseling, I will encounter heartbreaking relationships like this one. I feel more empathy. I think I am being naive, but I feel like I could be good at counseling teen moms if that was something I pursued because this show is basically a case study.

I felt compelled to watch because I knew their stories and couldn't help but care. I could ramble on about all the things I love about Teen Mom and all the moments that taught me something valuable, but I think I am going to leave it at this: Be there for your children--in whatever capacity is best for them--no matter what. And don't be selfish (especially if you have a strange obsession with Farrah Fawcett--you know who you are Deborah).

So goodbye Teen Mom. I wish you had left me with more closure, but I guess that would go against what I loved most about you--your realness.

If you are in need of a good cry or laugh check out Teen Mom on MTV.

This needs to be me.

via Porter Hovey

Les Miserables

After reading Victor Hugo's truly epic Les Miserables, I can say that I am no longer an idealistic Marxist. Hugo cured me of this former obsession. The differences between Jean Valjean and the Thenardiers reminded me of the importance of individuals taking ownership of their own lives and goodness--something that is only possible in the final stages of Marxism if every member of society is nearly perfect and selfless. I can't be that unrealistic anymore. People have to be the ones that bring humanity into society. A government compelling people to help their fellow citizens creates a facade of light that will ultimately crumble on itself.

In the words of Victor Hugo, "By good distribution, we must understand not equal distribution, but equitable distribution. The highest equality is equity....Their [Communists'] distribution kills production. Equal partition abolishes emulation. And consequently labor. It is a distribution made by the butcher, who kills what he divides....To kill wealth is not to distribute it" (Les Miserables, p. 840-841).

One of man's greatest God-given rights is freedom. This is the key to finding true greatness in one's character. I now believe that people best take care of themselves and others when it is by their own accord, not due to the demands of a government, even one they created and support. Instead of searching for a perfect political model, I am going to focus on being a better person. I truly believe our actions and love hold the power to liberate our world from suffering, ignorance, and hopelessness.

The other news is that I can now name my son Marx, and I won't be lying when I tell people it's not after the brilliant Karl Marx.

My Platform

I don't know if it's my old beanie baby collection, old school projects looming in the closet, or just being back that makes living in my childhood room feel like I failed. I am not talking about a massive, the world is ending kind of failure, just a little set-back. Like I failed a quiz, not the whole semester.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Anthropologist. Model. Writer. Gymnast. Pediatrician (specializing in dwarfism). Psychologist. Historic costume curator. All these things I wanted to be growing up just don't seem to fit anymore. And that's part of why I have started this blog. Maybe if I write about it, I can gain some insight into my slightly murky post-graduate life. And it gives me something to do in the meantime.

So here's to finding my muse and place in the world--whether that be a career, man, or words.